Bloody Stupid Johnson

I am a huge fan of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Novels. I’ve read most of them. The one character that got stuck in my head which gets a mention every now and again is an Ankh-Morpork landscape gardener and inventor called Bergholt Stuttley Johnson or better known as :

Bloody Stupid “It Might Look A Bit Messy Now But Just You Come Back In Five Hundred Years’ Time” Johnson

or

Bloody Stupid “Look, The Plans Were The Right Way Round When I Drew Them” Johnson

Imagine my surprise when I saw that Bloody Stupid Johnson had his own Wikipedia page! Gosh, I love the guy and his work! My favorites of his works are:

“…the hoho, which is a fifty foot deep ha-ha…”
“…the gargantuan beehive currently used as a pigeon coop in the absence of ten foot long bee…”
“…the ornamental trout lake, built 150 yards long, but, sadly, only one inch wide. It currently houses one trout that is quite content provided it doesn’t want to turn around. “Perfect for the dieting fish”…”
and
“…an ornate fountain which, upon being turned on, did nothing but groan ominously for several minutes before firing a small stone cherub a thousand feet into the air…”

You gotta love that!

Spit it out!

Filed in: Funnies by: Stii